Etiquette of Visiting a Newborn
Hi Again,
A delicate subject this time. I'm going to take you through 10 steps of how to act when visiting a newborn and their family. Experiencing this first hand has given me knowledge, and comparing my visiting experience with our first daughter with our second daughter, I can't express how different they were compared to each other. Having a baby is an extremely emotional time and a massive change for the parents. I think visitors sometimes forget and unintentionally cause more exhaustion and worry on the new parents. Below, I will explain 10 steps on how to act when visiting a newborn, this of course isn't the same for everybody however these points massively helped my emotional state of mind.
Step 1: NEVER turn up unannounced.
Having a newborn baby in itself is a massive change for parents, there is no routine and everything seems very strange. Not only is it rude to turn up unannounced, but also may mess up the new parents day. For example, they may have scheduled other visitors at certain times, and a house full is something the parents may not want. Understandably the want for meeting the new addition is huge, however make that phone call before you visit to schedule a time and make sure the new parents are up to visitors.
Step 2: Ask if anything is needed.
The last thing a new mother or father wants is to be making unnecessary trips to the shops for essentials, before you call in for you visit ask if anything is needed. Chances are the mother would love a nice hot cup of tea or coffee and may not have a simple essential such as milk, and with all the visitors, the are bound to go through it quickly, so just make that little phone call before visiting to see if they need anything picking up.
Step 3: Don't overstay your welcome.
Referring back to Step 1, the new parents may have scheduled visits, so make sure that once you've had your snuggles and caught up with the mother and father that you leave after a reasonable time. Not only may they have a scheduled visit after yours, but the mother may not be feeling up to having visitors for a long period of time. After all she has just given birth, and will want time to bond with her baby.
Step 4: Offer to help out with little jobs whilst your there.
Whilst on your visit, if you notice that there is a sink of washing up to be done, or the odd few bits picking up, ask if if any help is needed. Of course you must always ask as you don't want to cause any offence, but chances are the new parents will really appreciate any little but of help they can get, especially if this is a second, third, or fourth baby etc.
Step 5: Don't visit if your poorly.
Newborn babies have weak immune systems, and the last thing a new mother wants is their new baby to become poorly, so if you are coughing, or have a cold, or just generally feel under the weather, hold off your visit until your feeling better. I'm sure it will be greatly appreciated.
Step 6: Don't comment on the new mothers appearance.
Chances are that when you visit the mother will be in her comfy pj's, hair tied back with no make up on adjusting to their new addition and the change in their family life. New mothers shouldn't have to worry about getting dressed just for visitors and should be comfortable after the massive task they have just completed. In the comfort of their home, they should be comfortable and commenting on the mother appearance, unless positive of course is uncalled for.
Step 7: Try to talk less about the birth and more about the baby.
Birth is such a traumatic event in a woman and a mans life, both for different reasons. There may have been complications and it may have been traumatic, granted it may have also been lovely, however try to hold off on the birth story unless the new parents start the discussion, as they may not want to talk about it just yet.
Step 8: If the family have another child, pay attention to them before the new baby, its new for them too.
This was a massive step for me. As a mother of now two beautiful girls, I didn't want my first daughter to be left out. Therefore I asked all the visitors to pay attention to my first daughter before coming over to hold the newborn. I feel this helped massive not only for the transition for my daughter but rather my mental and emotional state. I felt less guilt this way.
Step 9: Spare the questions on when the next addition will arrive.
The last thing new mothers will want to think about it giving birth again, of course this inst the case for all. However, questions on when the next baby will be here should be avoided and let the new parents just enjoy the time with the newest addition and adjust to their new family life.
Step 10: Understand the mother emotions, and don't forget about the fathers.
Emotions are heightened after birth, especially from day 3 onward. New mothers can tend to cry and there isn't always a reason for it. If the new mother your visiting is emotional and upset just create a comfort and reassure them that its normal and it's good that the feelings are getting released. Let the mother know that you are there if they need anything and that they are doing a great job. When I say don't forget about the father, I mean to ask how they are doing too, its a massive experience for both parties and sometimes people can forget to address how dad is also feeling.
So there you have it. My 10 steps that personally helped me with the birth of my second daughter and dealing with visitors. Please understand I know these steps wont be for everybody, I just wanted to share what personally helped myself and our family when we were adapting to our second baby.
Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed.
Signing Out
Mrs Wilthew.
A delicate subject this time. I'm going to take you through 10 steps of how to act when visiting a newborn and their family. Experiencing this first hand has given me knowledge, and comparing my visiting experience with our first daughter with our second daughter, I can't express how different they were compared to each other. Having a baby is an extremely emotional time and a massive change for the parents. I think visitors sometimes forget and unintentionally cause more exhaustion and worry on the new parents. Below, I will explain 10 steps on how to act when visiting a newborn, this of course isn't the same for everybody however these points massively helped my emotional state of mind.Step 1: NEVER turn up unannounced.
Having a newborn baby in itself is a massive change for parents, there is no routine and everything seems very strange. Not only is it rude to turn up unannounced, but also may mess up the new parents day. For example, they may have scheduled other visitors at certain times, and a house full is something the parents may not want. Understandably the want for meeting the new addition is huge, however make that phone call before you visit to schedule a time and make sure the new parents are up to visitors.
Step 2: Ask if anything is needed.
The last thing a new mother or father wants is to be making unnecessary trips to the shops for essentials, before you call in for you visit ask if anything is needed. Chances are the mother would love a nice hot cup of tea or coffee and may not have a simple essential such as milk, and with all the visitors, the are bound to go through it quickly, so just make that little phone call before visiting to see if they need anything picking up.
Step 3: Don't overstay your welcome.
Referring back to Step 1, the new parents may have scheduled visits, so make sure that once you've had your snuggles and caught up with the mother and father that you leave after a reasonable time. Not only may they have a scheduled visit after yours, but the mother may not be feeling up to having visitors for a long period of time. After all she has just given birth, and will want time to bond with her baby.
Step 4: Offer to help out with little jobs whilst your there.
Whilst on your visit, if you notice that there is a sink of washing up to be done, or the odd few bits picking up, ask if if any help is needed. Of course you must always ask as you don't want to cause any offence, but chances are the new parents will really appreciate any little but of help they can get, especially if this is a second, third, or fourth baby etc.
Step 5: Don't visit if your poorly.
Newborn babies have weak immune systems, and the last thing a new mother wants is their new baby to become poorly, so if you are coughing, or have a cold, or just generally feel under the weather, hold off your visit until your feeling better. I'm sure it will be greatly appreciated.
Step 6: Don't comment on the new mothers appearance.
Chances are that when you visit the mother will be in her comfy pj's, hair tied back with no make up on adjusting to their new addition and the change in their family life. New mothers shouldn't have to worry about getting dressed just for visitors and should be comfortable after the massive task they have just completed. In the comfort of their home, they should be comfortable and commenting on the mother appearance, unless positive of course is uncalled for.
Step 7: Try to talk less about the birth and more about the baby.
Birth is such a traumatic event in a woman and a mans life, both for different reasons. There may have been complications and it may have been traumatic, granted it may have also been lovely, however try to hold off on the birth story unless the new parents start the discussion, as they may not want to talk about it just yet.
Step 8: If the family have another child, pay attention to them before the new baby, its new for them too.
This was a massive step for me. As a mother of now two beautiful girls, I didn't want my first daughter to be left out. Therefore I asked all the visitors to pay attention to my first daughter before coming over to hold the newborn. I feel this helped massive not only for the transition for my daughter but rather my mental and emotional state. I felt less guilt this way.
Step 9: Spare the questions on when the next addition will arrive.
The last thing new mothers will want to think about it giving birth again, of course this inst the case for all. However, questions on when the next baby will be here should be avoided and let the new parents just enjoy the time with the newest addition and adjust to their new family life.
Step 10: Understand the mother emotions, and don't forget about the fathers.
Emotions are heightened after birth, especially from day 3 onward. New mothers can tend to cry and there isn't always a reason for it. If the new mother your visiting is emotional and upset just create a comfort and reassure them that its normal and it's good that the feelings are getting released. Let the mother know that you are there if they need anything and that they are doing a great job. When I say don't forget about the father, I mean to ask how they are doing too, its a massive experience for both parties and sometimes people can forget to address how dad is also feeling.
So there you have it. My 10 steps that personally helped me with the birth of my second daughter and dealing with visitors. Please understand I know these steps wont be for everybody, I just wanted to share what personally helped myself and our family when we were adapting to our second baby.
Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed.
Signing Out
Mrs Wilthew.
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